There are a mind-boggling number of bad movies out there. Every once in a while a bad film will break into mainstream consciousness, like "Ishtar," but the rest of the iceberg is underwater, and it's a big freakin' iceberg. (Translation: There are a mind-boggling number of bad movies out there.) It makes you wonder if there isn't a more cost-efficient way to entertain ourselves. I recently saw "The Bachelor," a film in which Mariah Carey (38 today) made a rather unconvincing cameo, and I was humbled; I don't think I'd be humanly capable of turning out something half as bad. Anyway, Mariah Carey's a big-deal pop star. Which song is not one of hers?